Guess what? You are enough!
Do you believe that?
But I want to. And this morning while I was walking the dog in the blessed Seattle sunshine, listening to the spring frogs, and inspecting the flowering currant bushes, I was rehearsing in my mind the many people I wanted to say this to. Then, it occurred to me. If I believed that who I am is enough, I might really be happy. I mean JOYFUL.
Lately I have been feeling like I am doing a sucky job as a parent. And lacking in creativity with my job. And a bit too into the “wing it” way of life. “Oh dinner? Woops – are quesadillas OK?” On top of those two “normal life pressures,” I never feel like the way I am living my life is good enough. I am not doing enough to help create a peaceful and just planet. I am not living green enough. I am not caring for those on the margins enough. I am not writing and performing music enough…. the list goes on.
A week or so ago I had a conversation with my husband in which I was bemoaning my “ordinary” life when he tried to comfort me. I interrupted him and said, “but it’s not OK. It’s not OK with me. It’s not enough! I don’t want to live an ordinary life! I need more than that!”
So, I started scheming about ways to make myself look and feel better. How would I do that? I began by emulating those people I respect the most. I thought, “I will start training for a triathlon. I will “up-level” my business. I will write the most amazing song, post it on Youtube, and Ellen will spot me and invite me to perform live in front of her millions of viewers. I will replace Pop Tarts with carrotts. I will go back to my spiritual director. I will start dressing more European. I will do a PH.D in Peace Studies.”
These are not bad thoughts or plans or hopes. They are pretty good, actually. But all of this is, with the exception of spiritual direction, just makeup. They may smooth over the blemishes and bring out the green in my eyes, but they would not be ENOUGH.
Come to find out, no one and no thing can make you feel like you are enough. It is an inside job, so to speak. We may have given up our power to others to effect it, so we probably need to reclaim responsibility for it. Funny, though, most of us think that everyone else is enough! I am going out on a limb, here, but have a strong suspicion that when we accept that we, ourselves, are enough, we will be empowered to become “the life of our own party!”
Since some of us really need to hear this, and perhaps have not heard this message for a while, let me say to you: YOU ARE ENOUGH. Right now. No changes. From a spiritual perspective, I can say with confidence that there is nothing you can do to make God love you any more than God loves you right now. And hey, if you’re good enough for the Big Guy (or Gal), who are you to waste any more time on this belittling thing.
Write it down in big letters, maybe pull out some old (or new) crayolas and make it look happy. Now color photocopy it (who has time to make a bunch of them.) Tape one on the fridge and one on your bathroom mirror. Put one in your car. Put it up in your work cubicle. It might make people gossip, but who cares? It’s not so bad to be gossiped about!
Let’s accept that we are enough. Right now. Just as we are. When we get that into our bones, or at least under our skin, who knows what room we will have in our lives. I can imagine what I might do with it.
If you want to join me in this, let me know. Better yet, send me a photo of your sign (or rock) and I will post it on my site.