For a long time I haven’t felt like yoga is for me, though I would surely like it to be. It may fit me in so many ways: slow movement, reflective meditations, heck even the stretching alone can be great! But … I get bored. It is such a beautiful, sensual, spiritual way to exercise and I do so wish it worked for me. It might be partly that L4 disc issue that downward dogs me. I don’t know.
But today, anticipating a busy morning (and because it was in the same building), I attended a yoga class with a sea of candles, natural images being projected gently rising into each other, and peaceful haunting music seeping into the corners of the room.And I am a total sucker for candles. I could have them lit for every meal, meditation, evening, prayer, visitor, you name it.
I knew it would be a bit of a chaotic morning and thought I could use the quiet before corralling a herd of angels, sheep, shepherds and the holy family for a Christmas pageant rehearsal. After some gentle stretching, a few child poses, some planks and whatnot, a new piece of music began to play as we “opened our hearts” in movement and stretching. The song cooed, “let your heart be known, let your heart be known.” After about 4 moves, I felt tears welling up. I didn’t feel I had time to sit with what was happening so I adjourned to my office to blow my nose. But not without remembering that something had happened to me there.
Fast forward to an hour ago when I began thinking and writing about this. Seattle is a very yoga-friendly city so I’d be completely unobservant if I didn’t know a thing or two about chakras. But I really knew so little that I did a little research. Here are a few things I learned about the heart chakra, the part of my body and spirit I was accessing:
“The Heart Chakra is the centre from which feelings of love emanate. It is also associated with other virtuous emotions, such as joy, happiness, honesty, respect, compassion, understanding, and generosity, and with loving oneself in a sincere, non-egotistic way. This is also the chakra through which we connect with others whom we love or have affection towards…
The heart chakra is very important in spiritual healing. According to Barbara Brennan, all ll the energies metabolised through the chakras travel up the central nadi of the body and into the heart chakra, before moving out through the hands or eyes of the healer [Brennan, p. ]
When the heart centre has been fully opened, it becomes the channel for Universal Love; what the Buddhists call Mahakaruna ot “the Great Compassion”, and esoteric Christians and Theosophists the “Christ Consciousness”. Once opened, the Higher Self or Immortal Divine Soul is able to work through this centre. This is probably why in so many cultures the heart is said to be the seat of the soul.”
That’s a lot of “huh?” to a western mind. But seriously, if you have been following this blog at all, or my Facebook posts, or if you are part of my inner circle, you know this is so clearly another link in the chain of my life right now. Living into my calling in the world has been punctuated with some beautiful ah ha’s about intimacy and belonging, about worship and the Spirit of God, about who I am, and about being truly alive.
Is it just a strange coincidence that when we got to the “heart chakra”, this Jesus girl fell apart? Probably not.
Sometimes we think we have hit the end of ourselves: our wisdom, our intellect, our belief … and maybe we have. But I am starting to wonder if there is no end to us – and that we are so connected to love or mystery or God – or whatever you want to call it – that perhaps we are just a continuation of that one all-encompassing love. Mostly we just aren’t aware of it; choose not to respond to the tugging in our hearts, or are afraid of something that keeps us disconnected from ourselves.
Yeah, if your woo woo antennae are humming, this is a bit woo woo.
So, I googled the beautiful song “Let your heart be known”. Oh friends, isn’t this what we long for? To be held with tenderness and respect in the deepest parts of ourselves … in all of our brokenness and pain … our happiness and longings?
Yet, it feels so rare. Sometimes unbearably rare.
Instead, my ego clashes with your ego; my pain stirs up your pain, my fear trips up your personal peace. We get so tangled up in each other.
Still, we must let our hearts be known in order to live deeply in our lives. I suppose this is part of what this blog is for me. Letting my heart be known. I hope you know that those of you who read this know some of the deeper parts of me because I can write it so much better than say it out loud. Though I am committed to doing this better.
So thank you. Thank you for letting me speak what I long for – and for holding it so kindly with me.
Take a minute to enjoy this video. Peace, Peace…