“Let go, you tell me”

hold on“Let go,” you told me
as I buttered my toast and
swallowed down bitter black coffee
“it’s early and I haven’t awakened quite yet or checked my facebook messages”
 
“Let go,”  you told me
“I will, I said, but give me a moment to remember just one more time
Those precious few moments… the wet fallen leaves, long wooden tables and bowls of belonging, the snap of delirious music, and that touch I carry like fine bone china”
 
“Let go,” you told me
but I sat with my friend 
who desperately needed to bathe –
and listened to her weep at the death of her father who stormed against everything precious
 
“Let go,” you told me
“I will,” I said, “but give me a moment to hold her in my arms
It’s so very scary when you’re alone, even though sometimes it is better, far better, far better”
 
“Let go”, you told me
and I sat in a suit
lodged between double sided glass
and smiled so politely and charmed everyone, until the sun’s second guessing peeked in
 
“Let go”, you told me
“I will,”  I said, “but give me some time to imagine an unimaginable world where I am the servant and you are a servant and everything is as it should be…
 where we all have shoes and shelter and love and somehow find forgiveness
where mistakes are few and become the best gift
where everyone cries and everyone sings and nobody cares but to join them
where laughter haunts houses and fears become friends
where justice thrives and reconciliation wins
and everything leads to redemption”
 
Sometimes letting go is not what is needed
Though usually it is probably so
 
 
 
 
 
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