Holding My Breath

IMG_1526 ridiculous dog
“stay down!” 
i say upon our first greeting
coffee in hand
 
there is an
effortless morning rain 
dissipating
into scattered white and pale blue
while
supervising crows
issue orders
 
surely the animals are in charge
 
a hand-pulled espresso
in a pottery mug
from
my 40th:
girlfriends
and wine
a cold rocky beach
crabcakes 
 
on the bookshelf
there is a photo of the children
5, 3
tucked into a red tree
with tevas
so fiesty and sweet they were
and are
 
tomorrow 
my baby goes to college
and again
 
everything
changes
 
with intention – and not
it does not matter…
we do what we can
to hold it at a distance
until
a cloudburst catches us
unexpected
 
machines die
children grow up
dogs learn not to
eviscerate every
computer cord
 
you receive a phone call
you know what comes next
 
today the wall
of change is 
a tidal wave
i feel like i am
holding my breath
to
say good-bye
to what was
 
and what i imagined
both
dreams and ideas
and such gorgeous and treacherous realities
 
today
i know only three things
i love deeper than i thought possible
i have been loved so hard
and 
even the wrong things
can be done with love
 you are loved
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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