Judgmentalism feels like someone (maybe me?) took a big needle and thread and knitted my body too tightly together. Which might be good if it were creating space for oxygen and movement in my gravity-prone body or removing the fat around my heart. But alas, not so.
I need to let go of my rage about Trump being popular and my judgment toward those who support him in any way. It isn’t helping me or the world; spewing all that negative energy everywhere. But I feel such outrage and anxiety about it all. If he were anything other than a white man, he would have been done months ago. He paid off women who he took advantage of; he doesn’t know the basic principles of human well-being outside of financial success (which, btw, were at our expense – his corporations filed bankruptcy 11 times); he over-sexualizes and demeans women; he has no internal vetting device – and no regard for kindness; he bullies disabled people; he is utterly clueless about anything but the U.S. He could, with some off the cuff remark, put the world in a nuclear mess. He is the very worst of U.S. culture – arrogant, childish, selfish and an embarrassment to good men who are trying to be more evolved human beings. And that is just the beginning.
Wow! As a middle child, it feels good to be clear sometimes!
I’m not much of an “unfriender” — I think we should talk with those we disagree with, not demonize them or call them asshats, especially when you love those asshats. This election has brought up more rage in me than even the Reagan election and the 2nd Bush election. Now I am looking back at Reagan (who totally messed with MY Latin America) as just misinformed. And Bush as a dry drunk (which may have been true), but now in kind of a grandfatherly way. Geeez. When Jeb dropped out I thought, “Wait. What?”
Hatred and judmentalism is usually based in fear and a lack of understanding. And it is true, I do not understand Trump nor those who advocate for him. I think I get it that people want change in the political process. One friend said, “it’s time to clean out the swamp.” Agreed. All the cronyism and corruption makes me crazy too. But democracy is still arguably the “cleanest” political system we have and we are making our way through. Have you worked with some of the other countires? Or traveled and listened well enough to hear the realities? Cleaning out the swamp and then throwing in an ogre and his “F*** political correctness” minions will only create a worse mess. AM I RIGHT?
How do we make our way through this jungle? Maybe a start is to … ignore the media for a while. They overplay everything inflammatory and make it appear larger than life. I suspect there is less extremism than we see. Let’s dissect our visceral reaction to Trump or Hillary over a glass of wine with a trusted friend or partner and get to the root of the problem. And don’t believe everything you read.
I think I partly hate Trump because he is unreliable, unpredictable and the kind of human being I have never gotten along with (which may, come to find out, be a lot about me and my history and the stories I have told myself over the years.) Is it that I you don’t trust Hillary because she is a political player? OK – name it. Is it that she represents the kind of feminism you don’t like? She isn’t nice enough? She is too mean? She kills babies? Name it. And see if the real issue might be partly yours.
When you finish that, now together, let’s take a deep breath, grab a pair or scissors and cut one of those threads that binds us in our own lives and let’s start allowing ourselves to breathe better. Maybe hand someone you disagree with the scissors. Let’s imagine that we all want to make a living and have a roof over our heads, be healthy, have agency, and be close to people who love us. Maybe we go to the lake and roast weenies. And then we can return with our heads and hearts in wise mode and take this on with more patience.
That’s all I’ve got – oh and “Love your enemies doesn’t mean you have to like them.”